“Learn to be calm, learn to be positive …!” – Dr. Chockalingam

Q: Your family background must surely have helped you in your elevation in the field. Please tell us about the same …

A: My son Anand Chockalingam is also a doctor. He is also a cardiologist; he is attached to a hospital in America. His wife is also a doctor and she is also there in America. We’ve a grandson and a grand-daughter through my son. My daughter Priya Chockalingam is also a doctor, working in England. Her husband Gopinath is an MBA, occupying a high position in a big company. The couple has only one daughter. My wife Senthaamarai is also a doctor.

Q: Both your children are away in America and England with their families. Are you both living here all alone?

A:I understand your question. You wonder whether we are not feeling lonely without the presence of our children. I never feel I am left to myself. Many of my patients get heart attack due to the increased level of sugar or elevated pressure level. They invite this condition by becoming worn-out due to increased tension and self-pity accruing from their feeling of loneliness with their children working abroad. Separation is inevitable. If you want to progress in life, you should be prepared for separation. You should learn to have ‘detached attachment’. If there’s ‘relationship’, there’ll be ‘separation’ too. We should be prepared for both. If you develop such an attitude and remain like the water on the lotus leaf, you’ll have no problem. We should feel happy seeing our children progressing in their career and life. Recently, they were all here for one week. Even if we spend just one hour with them, we should make it in a way that it becomes a joy whenever we recall that time.

Q: It is widely believed that today’s men and women spend all their life in earning money and amassing wealth and, in this endeavor, they lose out on all other aspects of life. What is your view?

A: It is fully true. Nobody has ordered you that you should do this work or that work or this amount of work or that amount of work. You do everything for your own wish. In that case, you shouldn’t grumble about the load of work. The man and the woman should be open enough to discuss their problems frankly and find a solution. After you reach a height also, you should have some amount of submissiveness. This holds good for both the man and the woman, it should be mutual and reciprocal. The man who is very comfortable remains without peace of mind. Everything is very fast today – fast food, fast journey etc. They amass wealth and deposit the money in some finance company. When the company disappears after a time, the depositor is shocked and gets heart attack. He loses health, loses more money in his treatment. Before depositing, we should think twice. If anything goes wrong, we should think of the ways of recovering our money. And, we should develop a mindset to accept the loss of our close relatives also as part of our life.